I understand having trust issues because I have my own problems with trust regarding friendships and relationships. It’s really easy to lack trust in people, especially with how common it is for something to go wrong in relationships and friendships. Someone lies, someone loses feelings, or someone betrays the other, and all these experiences can deeply wound the other person permanently since they were so emotionally connected with that person.

Although, You should not view your trust issues as a ‘terrible’ problem you have… Holding onto these bad experiences when entering new relationships and beginning new friendships makes sense because you wouldn’t want to get hurt again. It feels safer to automatically believe the next person you get into a relationship with will hurt you so you can prepare yourself for that outcome. But, I think a way to manage trust issues and promote a potentially healthy relationship is to enter with the mindset “innocent until proven guilty” or until they act differently/suspiciously. Yes I know this is easier said than done, but it is essential to enter a new relationship trusting (or attempting to trust) the other person; otherwise, it will not stand. A lack of trust in relationships and friendships is detrimental because trust is the foundation of any meaningful and lasting connection. Without trust, it can cause unhealthy relationship/friendship habits and hurt the other person who has not given you a reason to not trust them.

When you open yourself to trust, it can be striking and so beneficial. Trust creates open and honest communication. Without it, people may withhold information, lie, or avoid discussing their true feelings, creating misunderstandings and unresolved issues. Trust allows for vulnerability and deeper connections, whether in romantic relationships or close friendships. People might put up emotional walls without it, limiting intimacy and closeness. Not trusting your significant other or friend creates feelings of doubt and anxiety. You guys might constantly question each other’s intentions or loyalty, which leads to emotional distress.

Additionally, suspicion and distrust often lead to unnecessary arguments and accusations. The type of relationship pins you guys against each other instead of creating a safe environment where you guys work together. Not trusting the critical people in your life can lead you to controlling behaviors, such as monitoring or testing the other person. This creates a toxic cycle that damages the relationship further. Finally, from personal experience, constant suspicion and insecurity can lead to stress, depression, or anxiety for one or both parties, affecting overall well-being. If the person you are with makes a choice to betray you or hurt you, that is on them. If you have to constantly monitor them to ensure they don’t do something against your friendship or relationship, it reveals your own insecurities.

Building and maintaining trust is essential for relationships to thrive, as it promotes mutual respect, understanding, and safety. Relationships lacking trust often become fragile and may eventually break down altogether. My advice may not help you significantly if your past experiences have profoundly affected the trust you hold for other people, but I hope I can offer some reminder of the importance of trust.

Remember you are not alone. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who love you is where you want to be. If you are in need of immediate attention please seek help.

For mental Health Resources and Support: 988lifeline.org (The National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline).